Today is my sabbath so I get a day free from the pressure of being a homemaker and a little relaxed from my parenting as far as bringing people places, feeding them, etc. I was just sitting and doing some personal reflection on what I am desiring for my future, my family's future, and all that comes along with it, I asked myself 2 questions. One was easy to answer; the other one; I'm struggling.
God created each of us. Wholey and completely unique from each other. He has equipt us all with gifts, skills, and a mission. Some people figure it all out quickly and just hit the ground running, others it takes more time to figure it all out. I'm in that second group.
So, the questions? The first one is this. Do you want to work a 9-5? My answer quickly and without thinking is NO. I don't. I mean does anyone really WANT to work? The second question, the one I am having a hard time answering is this. Does that mean I'm lazy?
If I were to listen to the world then the answer would probably be yes. I mean, would they say that to my face if I asked them? Probably not; that would be rude and everyone knows Canadians are anything but rude. A quick google search of "am I lazy if I don't want to work" brings a mixture of "how to not be lazy in 5 easy steps" to "If you don't want to work you may have a mental illness." Nothing that is for the person who just really feels like "I wasn't made for working for other people or myself".
If God calls some people to be single in order to carry out his good work, then is it also possible that he made some of us to just be a wife, a mom, and a follower? Is that so hard to believe? And if it is what he has created some of us to do, then why are so many of us torn with mom guilt whether we are working outside of the home or not?
Full disclosure, I haven't always been a homemaker. I have had jobs before, we've all had that first job flipping burgers or cleaning tables to get a little pocket money. our first real grown-up job maybe in a shopping center doing cash, stocking shelves whatever it was. I have had many of those and for a season I even worked for myself at home at my own home daycare when my clones were small. Once they started school though I did what I thought I was supposed to do and went back to work for someone else. That transition wasn't what I wanted to do but at the time it was what had to be. We were trying to save to buy a home and had to have some extra money. Adulting is not the glamourous thing I thought it was as a kid doing whatever I want whenever I want.
There are a multitude of passages in the bible that talk about being a Godly wife, a Godly woman, and what that entails. Yes, so much of it is out of the reach of a mere human but a standard that we can aim to achieve. In some cases, the woman works, buys fields, makes garments, and sells them. (Proverbs 31:10-31) In others, it describes how older women should teach and lead younger women, how they should conduct themselves in public. (Titus 2:3-5) Is this possible in our need more, better, shinier, faster, world? Can a person actually just be a wife and mother?
I know it can be done. There are many wonderful examples of women doing this worldwide as well as in my own home church. How do they reconcile it in their minds? How do they not get tired of explaining to people that they don't "have a job" when the first question after meeting someone is "what do you do?" or "Where do you work?" I have asked them. I have read their answers and listened to their hearts and I get it. It's not just that we want every sunny summer day off and we don't want to wake up in the morning. I mean Hello, kids are awake before the sun, well until they are teenagers then they sleep all day and never leave their stinky teenage boy rooms. It's because they know that God has called them to the hardest most rewarding job there is. We GET TO raise and influence our children in our actions. We sacrifice the life of more, better, shinier, faster for a life of less, best, messier, slower, life. We GET TO encourage our husbands and support them as they become the men God has created them to be. We GET TO be the example for our daughters as well as our sons. To show them how to love and be loved, how to show empathy, to let them feel secure in an insecure chaotic world.
So I guess while writing this I've answered my hard-to-answer question. No. No, I'm not lazy if I don't want to work a 9-5. Knowing this and putting it out there in the world means I don't have to debate this in my mind anymore, I can be secure knowing that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing even if it doesn't match what the world might say. My purpose isn't to please the masses, it is to please one person. Jesus.